Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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