Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
