highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
How's work?
Spinning.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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