Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
This is the high leading the old right now
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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