She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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