i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
