i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
