Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
