you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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