New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
