No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
