from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
