Rock
Scissors
Fuck
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
