More tranny stories later!
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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