Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I need water and some morals
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
