Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
