you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
