Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
