Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
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