Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
We smell like vodka and hangover
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