I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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