i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
