We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
