Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
This is classic penis vs brain.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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