i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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