I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It's official drugs can't kill me
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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