I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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