1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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