The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
