why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
