Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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