I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
