Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wish you could order shots online.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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