Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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