But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Randomize
