i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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