I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I want to be your penis for a week.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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