Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
There's always time for handjobs
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
