Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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