I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
