Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
there is glitter all over my balls
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
