Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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