I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
