Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
