yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
So much rum. So many feels.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
