My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
