i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
