You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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