Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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