She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
